The World's Fastest Pumpkin Carver

Recently, I decided that I would become the world's fastest pumpkin carver. You see other pumpkin carvers have more artisitic talent than I do, so I did what any semi-worthless hack would do. I decided to do what I do faster. Not better, not more precisely, just faster.

I have a very narrow realm of knowledge so I decided to use what I have. I can make very few things, I can't make furniture, I can't bake cookies, I can't manage to make any money from this website, but I can make a big heavy device with sharp edges. So I did.

Last Friday, I spent the night in my Art School's metal shop and welded up what I am calling the pumpkin thumper. It is a big piece of pipe with some blades welded to it. The goal is to smash a pumpkin with it and instantly carve a pumpkin. How can anyone beat my record if I carve a pumpkin instantly! See the video below to watch it in action.

The same video equipment I used to shoot this snippet was purchased last year to create a catalog for adults that is on DVD. If you are an adult and would like a fun lesson on adult toys click here to request a free copy of the video I made. I wrote it to be funny and fun to watch. You'll have to see for yourself.